Waking Up in the Negative

When I wake up on the days that my sweet boy isn't with me, I wake up in the negative.  I know there will not be that smiling face with crazy morning hair peeking around the corner at me.  I know that the pajamacan will not have to visit our house that morning.  (For your own edification, there are 2 pajamacans:  Fred - the evening pajamacan, and Sam - the morning pajamacan.  These monsters come to gobble up little boys and girls who either refuse to put on their jammies - evening, or refuse to take them off and put on day clothes - morning.)  I know I won't have to convince someone that it is cold outside and thus he must wear socks and shoes and a coat.  There will not be any waffle, pancake, or cinnamon toast preparation; no little blue Star Wars cups on the counter; no 4 year old giggles.  These days I wake up in the negative.

Usually I'm able to recall the laundry list of things I have to be thankful for, and I perk up.  I watch a few videos of him laughing or skiing or chasing Lucy and I'm good.  I know I'm not too far from JE snuggles!

But lately with the current status of our country, pulling myself out of the negative has been increasingly difficult.  I am ashamed at the distasteful way people speak to each other on social media, on the phone, and even in person. I can't help but think my mom would have washed their mouths out with soap.  I think she would have washed many of our elected officials' mouths out with soap!  And corrected their grammar!!!  I am embarrassed at the joke our government has become.  I feel like there are overgrown preschoolers in suits running around in Washington.  Actually, I think my son's class is better behaved.

Is anyone else horrified?  This is just plain human decency that has flown out the window.  I was embarrassed when the Republican Congress refused to even entertain a hearing on Merrick Garland (who would have been a voice of reason and brilliance on the Supreme Court), and I fear there will be more Democrats stalling like children who want to go outside to play but refuse to put on their snow clothes.  Gorsuch isn't a bad guy.  In fact, he's strikingly similar to who he'd be replacing, Scalia, who was a strict constructionist.  While I do not agree with that viewpoint, it is nice to know that there are those who believe so passionately about the very fabric of which the Constitution was written on, that they will fight to keep it "as is."  The balance is key.  Are we looking for entertainment?  In our Government?!?!?!  We shouldn't be.  

Is anyone as concerned as I am about the wielding of power with a pen and a paper?  Some used a pen and a phone, which I disagreed with as well, but for now, no one will stay on the phone long enough to get anywhere.  Our branches of government were created to facilitate balance.  It was not intended to be adversarial.  Unfortunately though, Congress is fighting like children on the playground, our President is acting like a 2 year old who isn't getting his way, or is it a teenager who thinks the world revolves around them and they can say whatever they want without consequence, and we're letting them, and so many of the people are either sitting idly by hoping it will go away or calling each other names once would have made us shutter.

My parents taught me that I have to earn respect, not demand it.  My parents taught me to be classy and respectful of others.  My parents taught me to give full breadth and grace to others.  When I was teaching, a committee I was on was working on a civics project for the school.  We came up with R.E.S.P.E.C.T.:  Remember Each Student Practices Etiquette, Caring and Tolerance.  Maybe we should become students of our children.  My son doesn't see color or religion.  My son doesn't think his Hispanic, Asian, or Middle Eastern friends are any different than he is.  All he wants to do is be their friend.  If he sees another child in the store and doesn't get to introduce himself and become their "friend," he is saddened.  Our children have a never-ending pool of love and openness.  And while it is our job as parents to protect them from unforeseen dangers, I think it is also our job to learn from them what we have lost as we have aged.  There is joy in a pile of Legos.  They are different colors, sometimes come from different building sets, and don't always fit perfectly together.  But in the end, they make a magical toy that can take you anywhere.

When I wake up in the negative and I cannot get out, I think about my little boy and what his ever so innocent life can teach me.  It's not always immediate and it may take half the day, but putting the proverbial Legos together, a beautiful picture may be the result.