The Normal October Thing

 

Yesterday, on my run past my son’s elementary school, I noticed a group of kindergartners frolicking in the leaves, kicking and tossing them, laughing and “wee-ing” with such delight.  I thought with a sigh- something normal, finally.

Then that afternoon, my sweet 8 year-old son paused on our walk home from school, scooped up a bunch of leaves and tossed them in the air.  Giggling and laughing he repeatedly threw them up in the air smiling from ear to ear.  I, of course, grabbed my phone hoping to memorialize this normalcy in a world where normal has no definition. 

I began to look for things that earmark normal in my life:  dog meeting us at the fence in a complete frenzy for my son to arrive home from school; snack; homework and the push back I receive to do it; dinner preparation; cleaning up; laundry; lunch preparation; getting ready for my son to go to sleep; reading- our nightly must do; prayers; holding hands for about a minute before he drifts off into a land I hope is full of leaf tossing and smiles.  Thank heavens for these moments of normal.  The rest of the days really are not are they?

Daily we watch the Covid numbers in our area, hoping not to see a spike.  Each evening I review my emails carefully to make sure there isn’t something new and different that will affect my son’s school day or my work day.  Habitually, I check Facebook or Twitter, which has a two-fold effect: make me laugh or make me furious.  It used to just make me laugh or smile, and maybe think.  Now it just infuriates me.  Is the fury the new normal?  I hope not, please Lord, no. 

Admittedly we are in a period of our lives and in history that is unprecedented.  We are, as a country, ten months into a pandemic.  Today, Johns Hopkins provided numbers of nearly 215,000 of our fellow country men and women have died from this virus.  This virus complicates what would normally be manageable underlying conditions. This virus aggressively attacks the healthy and the weak, the young and the old, men and women.  Every single piece of our population has been affected.  We wear masks in public.  Our children can’t play with other classes outside.  Our children are somewhere between traditional school week to fully at-home or “virtual learning.”  Some of us are working from home exclusively, some partially, while others not at all.  “Front line” has a new meaning. It is no longer relegated to our military forces, heaven bless them, who have for centuries been on the front lines of our freedom. It now, as it maybe should have always, encompasses teachers, retail workers, fast-food workers, sanitation workers, those in the healthcare industry.  “Essential” employees have been re-defined.

This is not the normal we are used to.  Are all these things the new normal? 

We are in a country so divided people hate one another for a difference of opinion, defriending them because they either cannot stand the vitriol or are so vitriolic themselves that they cannot NOT say something vile.  We are so divided that families cannot productively discuss what is arguably one of the most pivotal elections in our nation’s history.  We can’t ask tough questions for fear of retribution or excommunication. 

I don’t know how to fix it. I have suggestions, but those are just that, my suggestions.  Maybe they’re good, maybe not.  Maybe they fit for some, maybe not.  I don’t know.  I can share them, but then honestly, I do have a quiet voice in the back of my mind (okay, sometimes it is loud and shrill) that I will be questioned as a Christian by some or questioned as educated by others.  Is what I have to say even valid or important?  Is the risk I run worth it to share my thoughts?  I realize opinions are like armpits (thanks Dad 😊), and they all stink a bit.  However, if no one ever shared their opinion women couldn’t vote, people would still own slaves (a practice so abhorrent it makes me even question our deserving to even live on this gorgeous planet), we would not have been to the Moon, there would be no rovers on Mars, we would not have airplanes- the list is endless.

If someone didn’t share their thought or opinion, we’d not be where we are.  Which can be bad and can be good.   

So here are my thoughts:

Our country is broken. Our hearts are broken. Our systems are broken.  Our relationships are broken.  We need to lament this and let it move us towards love. 

Just like every one of us, our country has the capacity to be great.  But it takes work.  And that work is hard.

You cannot love God and hate others.  You cannot.   

Even the darkest, longest night has to end.  Sometimes it is a rude, uncomfortable awakening.

We will struggle with an intense and passionate dislike for someone or something.  It is not okay to harm others. 

YOU ARE ENOUGH.  You are enough no matter your color, your religion, your gender identity, who you love, or where you live. You.  Are. Enough.

We are all imperfect.  THAT IS OKAY.   

We are all works in progress.  Every last one of us.  Give people as much compassion as you can muster.

Truth is worth the risk.  It is worth the sacrifice.  It is worth stepping out of your comfort zone to follow it. 

“The truth may set you free, but first it will shatter the safe, sweet way you live.” (Sue Monk Kidd, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter

Thinking back, a lot of these things should be normal.  So - I will hold on to the image of my son playing in the leaves, giggling, the normal October thing to do.  I will hold on to these thoughts, because they are truth and therefore, should be normal, and one day, even though it may hurt, the truth will set us free.  We just have to be willing to do the hard work.  That means it will absolutely be worth it.