Getting to Unity

I haven’t written much as of late.  It has been so very hard to try to put thoughts down because they overwhelm my mind and heart at times.  I try to settle them.  As usual, a run does me well.  Yoga has served to help too.  Hugs of a little boy.  Snuggles from a little dog.  Reassurances from my husband. All of these things have helped settle my thoughts and feelings, but they are still there, simmering beneath the surface at the ready.

I feel like a lot of us are there.  We are unsettled because we have watched an insurrection take place at our Capitol, fueled by words of one who should understand and rightly bear the mantle of his position. Regardless of if one’s opinion surrounding whether it was an intended incitement, it cannot be clearer that many careless words did in fact incite.  We see a cross in front of the Capitol not too far from a hastily built, but functional gallows- noose included.  We see someone carrying a flagpole with two flags on it: on the bottom “Jesus is King” and above it, a Trump flag.  We see leaders of our country calling for the hasty overthrow of a government they swore to serve, a Constitution they vowed to protect.  We see hate and vitriol between those who were once friends over their choice of elected officials.  We are rattled, shaken to our very core, as we discover more and more of the violence that took place on that Wednesday, January 6.  And unfortunately, we are shaken because every state capitol has received valid, credible threats of violence surrounding the Inauguration of our next President, Joe Biden.

I have heard a lot of people using the word “unity” indicating where we need to be, but I do not think we are there.  There are angry people everywhere.  The insurrectionists were angry.  Those who didn’t support that act, but still voted for Donald Trump may be angry.  I can tell you with certainty, there are many who did not vote for him that are beyond angry.  We are angry.  And unity cannot come from anger.  To reference Brene Brown, unity cannot exist without accountability.  And at present, anger is at the forefront, we await accountability.

Unity is the goal.  Unity doesn’t mean that we are not different in our opinions by any means.  Unity can exist if there is a common goal, and I think, the common goal are the ideals of America.  All men and women, of all colors, religions, marital status, socioeconomic status, gender identity treated equally and fairly.  We may differ in how we get there, but I think, I hope we have a common goal.

I believe we all want to be a patriot, but if being a patriot looks like insurrection, we should want no part of it. “Patriotism is rooted in humility.” (Dan Rather, What Unites Us.)  Wearing a flag pin is only patriotic if it accurately reflects the heart of a patriot, one marked by humility, gratitude, and perseverance.  Being a patriot requires honesty, and that means we must honestly look at what has gone wrong in this experiment of democracy.  Right now that means the investigations must continue and accountability, no matter who that includes, must occur.

I think we’re okay to not be at unity yet.  I think as a nation, being in the anger stage is about right. There are some who are still in denial, some who have moved on to bargaining.  We are grieving as a nation.  Until we walk through accountability and the grieving process, we cannot get to unity- not full unity.  We can unify our ideals, we can unify to fight a growing cancer in our country like white supremacy.  However, as a nation, with as many opinions and ideas as we have, unity is an extraordinarily challenging thing to accomplish.  We must respect the process of getting there, of getting closer and then having to take a step back, and then continue.  The struggle itself can often foster unity on fronts never considered.  Maybe this is our work.  Maybe just the work of grieving the great divide within our country and the forthcoming, tireless, hard, heart work of finding our common footing, will garner some unity.  Maybe.