Fleshing it out

Fleshing it out

Today I came across a re-post in defense of themselves.  The man is an older white gentleman who claimed to have no privilege and not be advantaged.  We will not get into the blind spot that so many white men have.  He posted it because he was “fedup” with being called a racist.  I truly don’t know much about this individual so of course, cannot speak as to his heart or his life.  But it truly bothered me, which means there’s a rub and I need to flesh it out, to find out where I stand on every item he brought up.  

To paraphrase Jen Hatmaker, the edges have been frayed for a while.  Challenges to the way I once thought or felt about the world and my place in it began popping up.  God began a work in me, chipping off parts here and there that were “mainstream” church instead of what He truly meant when He said as the #2 thing: LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR.

So here is my truth, after a lot of soul searching, scripture searching, and knee time:

On PRIVILEGE:  I grew up in a 2 parent home. My mom was able to stay home while my sister and I were young.  She went back to work when I was 8.  I am white. While men have had it easier than me, I have had it easier than most. I have privilege.

On ADVANTAGE:  I am here because I earned it and by the grace of God, have a husband who is fiscally responsible.  Am I advantaged, hell yes I am.  For years I didn’t have any fiscal wherewithal.  Am I at an advantage now because I have someone who guides in it, you bet.

On the LBGTQ Community:  I am heterosexual which means I don’t know the first thing about what it is like to live a life where it is necessary to hide who you are or who you love inside.  I have not been as loving as I should have been to the LGBTQ community, but I am a work in progress and I’m here to get it right.  I will love everyone as Jesus taught.  I LOVE the depth of diversity you bring to our world.

On other FAITHS:  I know and working through my faith.  No matter what, I am here to get it right. I will listen and hold space.  I open my heart to our differences.

On GUNS:  The Second Amendment was written in 1791.  Our country and world are different.  We did not have the protection of a well-funded, vast military. The right to bear arms exists, but this amendment was not written when automatic and semi-automatic weapons existed.  The first automatic weapon with a separate magazine in the grip was the Borchardt pistol.  It came about in 1893.  102 years after “arms” were given as a right.  I personally find both of those types of weapons irresponsible to put in the hands of non-trained individuals.  But I’m not going to take away nor would I support the taking away of your right to own a gun, just not one who’s creation is explicitly for war-time and for killing of humans.

On CHANGE:  I’m over 40 and I recognize that I grew up in a really different time.  I grew up where we celebrated the first woman astronaut went into space in 1983, while men had been there since 1971.  I recognize that the world is vastly different for my son than it was to me.  I do not feel out of date, but I recognize that my views need to be challenged.  Change is okay.  Remember, we are here to get it right.

On RESPONSIBLE NEWS GATHERING:  I gather my news from AP, USA Today, and MSNBC.  I even look at FoxNews occasionally- remember, we are here to get it right which means we have to look at the whole picture. 

On HERITAGE:  Being proud of your heritage doesn’t make one a xenophobe.  How you treat people who are standing on our borders begging for help, or are here on a work visa indicates if you dislike or have prejudice towards people from other countries. 

On HARD WORK, FAIR PLAY and FAIR COMPENSATION:  Just because I believe that people deserve our help, doesn’t mean I don’t believe in hard work, fair play and fair compensation.  I work my tail off. I still make $.82 compared to a man’s for the same work. A black woman makes $0.62.  Fair compensation only works when the playing field is level.  It never has been.  Helping someone up doesn’t mean I’m a socialist or Antifa (neo-Antifa, because to be an Anti-Fascist as it originally was, is a good thing).

On SUBSIDIES:  If you believe in bank subsidies than you sure should be able to believe in helping people in an economic crisis.  Besides if you pay what is charged by the grocery store then you believe in subsidies.  Everything we buy from a farm is subsidized by the government.

On the FIRST AMENDMENT:  As an American and as someone who supports the Constitution, I support someone’s choice to kneel during the National Anthem.  Not doing so is clear indication of supporting the First Amendment as long as it is in line with what you would say or believe.  Once again, we are here to get it right.  Just because they don’t agree with you doesn’t mean you can’t support their RIGHT to speak it, or kneel.  I believe everyone has a voice.  I will fight for your voice, regardless of if I understand it or agree with it.  That’s the whole point.

On the HISTORY:  Being offended by someone’s desire to remove Confederate monuments makes it about you.  It evidences the lack of respect for their voice, their feelings or their own personal history and familial history.  Imagine walking through a park every day, as a person of color, only to see a monument to the time in our history where it was perfectly legal to own a person of color. 

If we’re preserving monuments that have to do with our history as a country, then would a monument about Hitler be appropriate?

No one is trying to erase history. The goal is to tell their story; to have a voice; to not be reminded every time they walk through a park that they were once property.  Glorifying the hatred that came along with the Confederacy by refusing to step into another’s shoes or listen to their voices, WILL cause history to repeat itself.

On BLACK LIVES MATTER:  Hell yes, they do.  Right now, the focus is on changing the conversation. All lives have always mattered. But right now, the America I see doesn’t feel that way about black lives.  So yes, Black Lives Matter.

On COVID-19: I watch scientists and their data on COVID-19.  I wear the mask. I pay attention.  Unfortunately, we have failed leadership during this crisis.  It is NOT only about YOU.  It is about US.  Seatbelts aren’t comfortable but we wear them.  WEAR THE DAMN MASK.

On our LEADERSHIP:  I do not support the current President. I believe he is unfortunately, a mirror into part of our country.  It is an ugly image.  We are desperate for change.

It boils down to this.

IF LOVE, THEN…

Wear the mask

Black lives matter

Brown lives matter

Women count

LGBTQ lives matter

The Confederacy was a terrible time- don’t glorify any of it

Slavery was wrong

Segregation was wrong

We have to listen to other voices

We have to hold space for other opinions

We need to ask ourselves when forming opinions:  Can I honestly say that love is leading this?  If the answer is no, we need to flesh it out.

WE ARE HERE TO GET IT RIGHT. That takes time. It takes patience.  And it takes being uncomfortable as we grow.  It's okay to have to change.